Another Visit

The last week has been spent with family visiting from Australia.  We have been to Akaroa rocking on boats, Hanmer Springs wallowing in hot rock pools, and the Antarctica Centre watching penguins and riding in military style buggies! It has been a wonderful week and we were sad to see our our brother and sister and law, niece and nephew leave.

I have had gastroenteritis for 5 days so this afternoon am having a rest and cleaning the house while Sergeant is testing two new co-operative games at our friends house with the children.  

I am very fortunate to have made a few close friends in Christchurch who share similar conclusions in parenting and education, one of which was a nanny previously.  Whilst I have yet to find any research which states that mass childcare is beneficial to the development of a child in terms of social or emotional well-being, I have seen much evidence that if a child is bonded with alternative caregivers the experience can be positive so employment is restrained by the hours my friend can offer as a nanny and what flexibility the role offers.

While I love the theory of democratic schooling, if under-resourced both in terms of the input of fellow parents and in terms of support and actual resources, I prefer whole-life learning as a more holistic and nurturing education.  Subsequently I have been asked frequently if I would consider Sonic going to a “normal” school. I do not accept the social norm – children are natural learners and mainstream school does not work for millions of children, (certainly not my son) and learner centred education does; so I would rather support alternative means of education – let’s support a revolution!

 

 

First Times

Yesterday was DHs first day at his new work, and a first day for me being with the children without support for 7 weeks – back to real life.

I got busy for when DH got home, buying a cake and making his favourite meal – he came home stuffed! They brought in something like 12 pizzas for lunch, so my food is unwanted.  His work seems to be a very nurturing environment, with group lunches every Monday and early finishes on Friday for beers!

I got the bus for the first time in Christchurch, and it was terrible actually. Not so much the being on the bus but the walking in the rain.  The bus drivers were kind, and one actually heroic.  He saw us waiting in the rain and lifted our double pushchair onto the bus when it wouldn’t fit.  He took us to the passenger lounge at the metro station, so we could wait for the bus in the warmth 😉

The thing is that the girl with the curly hair is I guess still unsettled, and wanting to exert herself in any way she can, and thus I am having trouble getting from one place to another without her getting upset about not being able to walk on the road, or be cuddled by mummy in arms (slings – now – will not do apparently). I would love to be able to snuggle her all the way, but I have a big pushchair – that doesn’t even fit on buses – and it certainly doesn’t steer and push itself either. Great.  On the way back we got turned off two buses. Then I realise we have a puncture.  Next time – I am taking the single pushchair and a sling.

The group we went to today is absolutely lovely. It is a whole life learners group – and the women are all warm, friendly and supportive. They meet once or twice a week, so I am lucky to have found such a great group of people so quickly.

The crab, the gecko and the elephants

The Crab

 Murky sea water lashes around my feet and I catch a glimpse of something unsual, bending down I see a crab and I call out.  I jump onto sand trying to get the little blue bucket before the sea carries the crab away, as I turn DH has picked up the crab in his fingers and I wonder if he knows what I know about our discovery.  He panics and drops it into the bucket and I ask him;

 

“Did it hurt you?”

“Its pincers were moving towards me…” he says brushing his hands on his shorts,

“It’s dead darling. It’s dead”.

“Ah”.

 

The boy who today calls himself Watermelon Scraper takes the crab and starts to study it. After a while I ask him what he has figured out about the crab, he tells me he knows where it mouth is, talks about its pincers and how the crab uses them to eat. He traces a line from the mouth from where he thinks it is digested.  The crab is taken to the wall, where he beats it and throws it into submission, its contents revealed. He lays the limbs out with the body after the dissection, satisfied with his findings.

 

The Gecko

 Geckos are ubiquitous here. They typically vary in size from 4-10cm and have fine hairs on their hands and feet that are able to pick up the most minor of irregularities in surfaces, and are therefore able to walk on glass.  Here is a gecko on our hammock:

 

The Elephants

 

We decided to go on a trip to see the elephants and the crocodiles/cobra show. I felt a lot of trepidation about it, because normally I do not like to see animals in captivity, particularly if they are not treated well but here in Thailand there are places which conserve animals and places which profit from them. Unfortunately we chose a place of the later. We took a taxi to the Hua Hin safari park and arrived 5 minutes before the show was due to start. The children were all very excited, especially after seeing the parrot and monkey when we walked inside.  The price was extortionate – the equivalent of £80 british pounds (4,400 baht)! I don’t think we have ever spent as much on a morning out, and I hope we never again do). I would not have minded spending so much if the animals and staff were all cared for to a high level, but I regret I think this is not the case.

We rushed through to the show but before we went into the show, a man tried to force me to sit (WITHOUT TROUSERS!!! I was wearing a knee length dress) on the baby elephants back. He was very insistent and was trying to push me onto the elephant and I kept repeating no no no – I did not want to sit on the elephant with my little girl.  After a few minutes he eventually left me alone, but as I turned I saw that our 6 yo had been made to sit on the elephant, I choked back tears as I saw him being carried off crying himself on the elephants back. I felt helpless as I was holding one of our toddlers, DH was made to sit on one with a toddler and he said he was struggling to hold on himself with her – I was caught between trying to help him and help our son. I got our son off, and he said he was okay – and then I turn around and the keepers are forcefully trying to get tips! I was quite annoyed after how much it cost to come in, after all that is 2-3 days budget for a family of five.  My husband gave them 100 baht (£2) and then they tried to get him to give more money to the other elephant via its trunk, he said no. Now I realise that the reason they were so forceful is because they think it would get them more tips, like our dignity and choice is second place to profit – now I can empathise with the elephants.

 

I felt uncomfortable throughout the show – seeing these magnificent, majestic beings made to do all sorts of ridiculous stunts, it just demeaned them somehow.

The elephants rode bikes, burst balloons, painted pictures, played football, gave massages and danced and in between the crowd fed the elephants (100baht a bunch of bananas that usually costs a fifth of the price).  At the end the elephants came around to the front of the seating area with baskets in their mouth with the keepers asking for tips.  After spending 200baht on bananas we regret that we did not tip, I could see the frustration on the keepers face – and if we had been charged a fair price for entry and bananas, then I would very happily have tipped all the staff but we just don’t have that kind of financial freedom.

We then went on to the crocodile and cobra show, and watched the snake trainer as the spitting cobras hissed and spat venom at him – quite uncomfortable viewing. He would wipe the venom off his face in between tormenting the snakes – bearing in mind this would make him blind if it entered his eye. He also showed the crowd a copper head razor and some other large and quick snakes I do not know the name of. At the end one of the snakes bit his lips as he put it into his mouth, his lip bled during the last part of his act.  Again we were asked to give more tips.

 

Two men came out for the crocodile show – they somehow hypnotised the crocodiles to keep their mouths open as they inserted their hands and heads inside. After they had finished we were asked again to give more money, we again shamefully declined.  We asked the show speaker if they had ever been bitten and she said yes of course, these were wild animals. I knew she was telling the truth as I could see the scars on the man’s arm while he performed. One had even had their head trapped I think – they only way to get them to open their mouth again is to tempt them with “real” food.

 

Finally, we went on the elephant ride. I felt sad about this but it was basically next to free as included in the package and I have never tried it before.  I’ll be honest – I found it quite scary! We were quite high up and I was trying to ensure my children were safe.  The guides told us that they came from northern Thailand and had ridden elephants since childhood.  Near the end, my elephant guide turned to me with a box of jewellery, he seemed uncomfortable but tried to sell me some, I have no money, I don’t carry it and I told him so as he slowly put the box away. I looked ahead and saw that all the guides were trying to sell their passengers jewellery – it was part of the experience.  After 25 minutes we crawled off the elephants, I had found it quite uncomfortable and was glad to have my feet on solid ground, but at least the children were happy. We washed up and started our journey back to Cha Am.

 As we were leaving, the boy in our life who today would like to be refered to as Watermelon Scraper said that he would rather that they were trapped any other way than being chained by their feet – which is how they all stood whilst not being used. I would  have prefered just to see them wondering in a more natural environment, doing nothing anything than happily being elephants. That is after all what a safari should be?

I reflected in the car that all the tips and the jewellery selling must be a commission for the staff, and that made me feel sad. I cannot be sure, but I hope that they are all treated fairly. I do what I can in life but also have to consider the financial safety of my own family, and this trip was frivolous enough.

Four in a bed with no place for me…

It is getting late here and I cannot sleep. I do not like air conditioning both for environmental and comfort reasons but DH insists it is on at night.  I look to our bed, and the two double beds pushed together are full with one child sleeping sideways – no room for me. The cot is empty as it has been every night.  One night when we were in Dubai, the girl with curly hair slept in the cot there and woke in the night only to climb back into bed with me.  She edged around the bed and I woke automatically, may be I never will sleep deeply again – but I lifted her next to me and she snuggled beside me.  I watched as she brushed the hair out of her eyes and then her arm soft and warm swung onto my neck – and I thought to myself how could anyone want to miss out on these moments – these glimpses of  closeness in their purest forms?

I will take a little time to reflect on the day, and we have had some wonderful moments – but I also have had a great low, feeling completely lost.  I took some time to be mindful of my thoughts, my intent while lying with the girl with straight hair on a lounger hidden inside a tent covered four post frame – the side awnings flapped heavily in the breeze giving my mind a welcome distraction.  I asked the holy spirit to heal me in that moment and I found calm again.  But honestly, sometimes… this life completely overwhelms me and I feel like a caged animal pacing back and forth in my discomfort, fighting reality but not quite wanting to leave.

Healthcare in Thailand

Last night we had the unfortunate opportunity to experience Thai healthcare in Hua Hin.  We had come upon a wonderful  restaurant on the beach, and after having not eaten since breakfast we were keen to eat. The restaurant had tables lined up along the beach front, but they were all booked by the Bangkok regulars so we were given a table next to the aquariums.  The aquariums were huge, empty but for the murky water and a single large fish in each.  The fish loomed past us; eyeing us hopefully, knowing that they were the condemned but could see the spec of hope that might remain for their salvation.

DH was agitated with the waiter and was trying to roll out his order to a man who seemed more interested in the voice coming from his earpiece.  The girl with curly hair stood on her chair. On seeing this I asked DH to hold her because I felt worried about her safety. I turned my attention to the girl with straight hair who was on my knee, asking her if we could take her sister to the fishes. I heard a bang as the girl with curly hair fell from her chair onto the back of her head on the floor below. I ran round as she cried out, and picked her up. I lifted her into my arms and she lost consciousness. She came round, only to go sleepy and limp again a few seconds later. She woke up again and I went as quickly as I could to order a taxi.  DH came after paying for our drinks and we went to the local Bangkok hospital. I blame myself, because I know that my mother’s instinct is usually spot on, as soon as I don’t completely listen to myself… I just wish I had gone and picked her up to take her to the fish as soon as I saw her stand up ;-(

Because it was the King of Thailand’s birthday this week there is a 3-day weekend, so the usual busy weekends were even busier. The traffic to Hua Hin from where we were was almost at a stand still at points.  Luckily the girl with curly hair was wide awake by then, and describing the different food options she would like for dinner!

On arrival there, it is like something out of a dream. Everything is immaculate and bright, even the dress of the nurses and doctors.  We were seen within a few seconds of walking in – and soon the doctor came to us and reassured us that because she had not been sick, she would be okay.  She had an X-ray to make sure there was no fracture, and I was given an amazing heavy gown covered with birds and flowers to protect against the rays. The girl with curly hair was strong, and lay down on the bed, the bright light above her flashing over the blues of her eyes as she scowled slightly.  The X-ray was clear, so we were sent home with some painkiller incase she needed it and some advice slips.  The cost of the hospital treatment was less than the taxi there, and was quicker than even the whole experience of  waiting for and the GP appointment in the UK.   2 1/2 hours later, after the two taxi rides and the hospital experience we eventually had room service for dinner. Finally!

Thailand views and the night market

Last night we went to the night market in Hua Hin.  We were dropped off at the clock tower and made our way over the busy road waiting anxiously for gaps in the traffic.  We went into the night market just as it was starting, the local people were still hanging up clothes and arranging their ware as we took our first steps inside. Neon lights flashed in the background and as the sun set, the lights from the flashing toys and displayed fairy lights took over.

Watches for 100baht (around £2) were tempting, but we know from experience they might only last 2 days.  We meandered along the stalls of clothing, tea lights, t-shirts, soaps and nail bars, toys, jewelery – so much to see.  We found some food stalls and sat down for our lunch/dinner (if there is a word for breakfast/lunch why isn’t there one for lunch/dinner?).  For 120 baht (around £2.40) we bought 3 plates of noodles with veg.  Our son only wanted pancake with nutella, and later sweetcorn rosted on a grill.  A friendly Thai women call Tik came and sat with us at our table, and talked to us about her friend who was half English-half Australian who had moved to Australia last Christmas.

What surprised me, was that when we were at the food stall the girl serving came out for her break and sat down with a top of the range mobile phone and an iPad! I had always assumed that people working on the stalls, and elsewhere were not financially well off, but I think for the workers in tourist areas perhaps this is not the case.

Nothing can describe the excitement you feel when you walk through a market here.  The air is thick and hot, and there are people everywhere.  We walked past a stall strewn with toys and gadgets, but in the front she had a wok set up and was frying fishcakes and cabbage to sell for 30baht.

We walked past a man who as soon as he saw our children bent down to admire them, “what beautiful children.. aren’t they lovely… you want to buy a dress?”. No thank you. We walked past a few minutes later, and he sees Simon, “ahh she asleep, what a lovely child you have… so sweet.. you want to buy a suit?”. No thank you. Twenty minutes later, on the way back home, he sees me again and stops me in my tracks, “ooh look at children you have, aren’t they lovely.. so you want to buy a dress?”. He looks up at me, sees my face and realises he has tried that tactic already and slowly moves away his arms swinging.

Guest post by the boy who calls himself Wildmut

This is Wildmut and he is from Ben 10.  And when he (Ben 10) was a child he had that alien.

Kids club

Today when we went to kids club and played with the wooden bricks and the lovely boy in our life decided to invent some characters who lived in the village we built. Here are his wonderul ideas he asked me to draw (the pictures aren’t so good, but he asked for a grasshopper with a monkey’s head, a monkey with a grasshopper’s head, a letter with legs, the ultimate bogey picker and Miss Buns of Steel (I also drew a letter as I got confused when he said he wanted a letter with arms and legs 😉 ):