Another Visit

The last week has been spent with family visiting from Australia.  We have been to Akaroa rocking on boats, Hanmer Springs wallowing in hot rock pools, and the Antarctica Centre watching penguins and riding in military style buggies! It has been a wonderful week and we were sad to see our our brother and sister and law, niece and nephew leave.

I have had gastroenteritis for 5 days so this afternoon am having a rest and cleaning the house while Sergeant is testing two new co-operative games at our friends house with the children.  

I am very fortunate to have made a few close friends in Christchurch who share similar conclusions in parenting and education, one of which was a nanny previously.  Whilst I have yet to find any research which states that mass childcare is beneficial to the development of a child in terms of social or emotional well-being, I have seen much evidence that if a child is bonded with alternative caregivers the experience can be positive so employment is restrained by the hours my friend can offer as a nanny and what flexibility the role offers.

While I love the theory of democratic schooling, if under-resourced both in terms of the input of fellow parents and in terms of support and actual resources, I prefer whole-life learning as a more holistic and nurturing education.  Subsequently I have been asked frequently if I would consider Sonic going to a “normal” school. I do not accept the social norm – children are natural learners and mainstream school does not work for millions of children, (certainly not my son) and learner centred education does; so I would rather support alternative means of education – let’s support a revolution!

 

 

The Journey of the baby seals – Kaikoura & Hanmer Springs

Two trips courtesy of my kind and generous parents were to Kaikoura and Hanmer Springs. These locations are situated north of Christchurch and I would estimate a 1 hour 45 minutes drive to Kaikoura which took us 2-3 times as long due to rest stops, and promptly deleted our anticipated trip to Queenstown 😉

The drive to Kaikoura was absolutely stunning, and we travelled north of Kaikoura, aiming to get to Ohau waterfalls but went too far and ended up at a turning point only to realise there were plenty of seals sat on a rock:

Kaikoura

We went back to do the Ohau waterfall walk featured n the following link:
http://trampingtracks.co.nz/Ohau-Waterfall-Walk.html

Here are some of the pictures, you can see at the waterfall there are many baby seals frolicking awaiting the arrival of adults bearing food. As we walked down we saw some adult seals climbing up to the waterfall and I crept down the bank and waited to take some close up pictures:

Ohau Waterfall with baby seals playing!

Walking back

He caught me looking!

Walking under the old bridge

CUCHSHINE PETTING FARM, Kaikoura

Are you pleased to see us Peacock?

Gorgeous piggy

We were cornered by the goats and other animals wanting feeding

My parents shower at the Aspen Spa Hotel (what?? it seems noteworthy.)

Spa shower

A glimpse of the sea in Kaikoura

Views of the Local Night Market

We went to the night market in Cha Am on Wednesday, this market is on twice a week and is a very different atmosphere to the nightly market in Hua Hin.  The high energies of the market are still present, but it feels pushier and the flow quicker.  In our naivety we brought our pushchair along – even though we nearly always end up using it as a trolley, we still persist.

Each of us carried a toddler on our hip and tried to push through the crowd.  I was not as assertive as I could be, and limply held the pushchair in front, standing motionless as people pushed past from the front and the back, eyeing me up curiously.  In the end I got so sweaty and hot, my foul tempet seeped upwards and I fought my way to the front of the food stalls.  We see beautifully colourful sushi with different colour toppings and I ask what it is – fish eggs he tells me and goes to put it in my box, no no I say and the staff laugh at me.

Here at the local markets there are many people in need of money; you see a different side of Thailand from the glamour of the touristy areas. The effects of the poverty and the lack of a welfare system.  My heart breaks when I see a lady nursing a newborn baby sat cross-legged in the path with a mug filed with a few coins.  I go over to her and give her some money, she doesn’t even blink. I keep thinking about her, and I don’t know if or how I could have helped her in that moment.  I am sure I could have done more but the shock of the moment overtook my rational thinking.

What we don’t always see is the effects of the lack of a welfare system, perhaps a corrupt Government. We hear tales of the Thai mafia taking the profits from shops in Thailand.  And  I knew from the last time I was here not to buy the CDs or DVDs because the funds from them supports child prostitution, slavery and the sex trade.   http://www.worldvision.or.th/home_eng.html

I see an older man on a moped, his eyebrows grey and droopy over bright blue eyes. He is sat on the moped as it slants to one side.  Next to him is a Thai woman who looks at him intensely and his eyes return to hers.   I found the desperation in his eyes haunting.  It was as if in that moment I captured the imprint of their stories, echoes of their path resonating with sadness.

Looks like orbs in the photos! My sister requested night photos but we have a very basic camera and the settings do not allow for great pictures at night time so I did what I could.

Cakes for sale and fish.

Kittens for sale and stalls with nice streaky lights.

We have just said our farewells to a family we befriended.  Our sons ran and hugged eachother as they left.

We are travelling up to Bangkok tomorrow so will not be able to post until we are setlled in Christchurch.  Please pray for us as we travel.  The journey in the taxi down here was frightful.  The taximan drove like he was in a  video game, weaving bewteen cars as the engine revved.  I bit off most of my nails – not something I normally do.   We will be enjoying a few days exploring Bangkok, and then will have two weeks to explore christchurch before DH starts work and we can then visit the democratic schools, whole life learning meet-ups, sling meets, mum and child surfing body-boarding group and lots more.  Just on a side note for anyone remotely interested, I am reading kiss me by Carlos Gonzales and it is a wonderful, evidence-based interesting read. Love it! Next buy Gabour Mate hold on to your children.

Wishing you all peace and love, and a very joyful Christmas.

x

Thai Food and the Art of Bartering

The rest of my family are sat in bed with some popcorn. I am downloading pictures and while I am here, am going to write a little about Thai food, or at least our experience of it so far.

I’ll start with the boy who today would like to be known as Sonic Orange.  The hotel has decorated the lobby with a tree and a gingerbread house – we found him eating it so hope it isn’t too old:

Here in between Cha Am and Hua Hin, the cost of meals in restaurants is as expensive as in the UK.  We have also noticed that there are different menus for local people and tourists, the latter being expected to pay a premium.  As a result we have been trying to find cheaper ways to eat, buying bits from shops and going to the night market where we pay local prices plus tips.  Here at the hotel, children eat free – so normally DH takes them to eat in the morning and I hover around.

The sun rising this morning.

I do not understand why Thai people have so much so-called European food on their menus.  I say so-called as it to me is fast food – chicken nuggets, fries, fish fingers – which I think originated from America (Cornell University invented nuggets).   Surely people come to Thailand wanting to experience Thailand in its entirety – food and all?

Most dishes include seafood or meat, mostly pork. This surprised me as 95% of the Thailand population is Buddhist and in my naivety I thought that meant they were mostly vegetarian. This turns out to not be the case with their being different schools of thought as to whether meat is prohibited.

On one night that we went to the night market, we found a Vegetarian food stall tucked away.  A family of five ate for the equivalent of £3 (149baht) we left a tip and warm comments about the food, with DH signing hmm-nice-tummy-full.  We had a clear soup with a few veggies floating in it, a brown rice with slices of veggie sausages and four gelatinous packets filled with a variety of flavours I could not identify, apart from seaweed.

The night market

Again last night we all ate for around 200baht (£4) and I had the hottest curry I have had in a while! I was almost defeated by it, but I did not give in and sat there sweating, red and gulping water down.

At the market we sauntered through and after 10 minutes of bartering, which wasn’t actually bartering but was me saying ooh they are gorgeous, and then with the girls spilling drinks down themselves and me attending to them. The market owner obviously thought this was some sort of purposeful nonchalance, and kept offering lower and lower prices. So we bought two silk kimonos for the girls.   DH selected me a hat, I refused to use a mirror so I had to trust his judgement completely!

Sonic Orange had grilled corn on the cob, followed a taste of a packet of what I can only identify as glass noddle with syrup and coconut:

Tonight there is a huge party so we sat outside our hotel probably getting chewed by the mosquitos.  Not sure when I’ll be able to sleep tonight, it is very loud.

I had to post this picture, on our walk back there was another party in a restaurant and they have set up tables on the road, hopefully you can see behind the motorbikes, really tickled me:

The crab, the gecko and the elephants

The Crab

 Murky sea water lashes around my feet and I catch a glimpse of something unsual, bending down I see a crab and I call out.  I jump onto sand trying to get the little blue bucket before the sea carries the crab away, as I turn DH has picked up the crab in his fingers and I wonder if he knows what I know about our discovery.  He panics and drops it into the bucket and I ask him;

 

“Did it hurt you?”

“Its pincers were moving towards me…” he says brushing his hands on his shorts,

“It’s dead darling. It’s dead”.

“Ah”.

 

The boy who today calls himself Watermelon Scraper takes the crab and starts to study it. After a while I ask him what he has figured out about the crab, he tells me he knows where it mouth is, talks about its pincers and how the crab uses them to eat. He traces a line from the mouth from where he thinks it is digested.  The crab is taken to the wall, where he beats it and throws it into submission, its contents revealed. He lays the limbs out with the body after the dissection, satisfied with his findings.

 

The Gecko

 Geckos are ubiquitous here. They typically vary in size from 4-10cm and have fine hairs on their hands and feet that are able to pick up the most minor of irregularities in surfaces, and are therefore able to walk on glass.  Here is a gecko on our hammock:

 

The Elephants

 

We decided to go on a trip to see the elephants and the crocodiles/cobra show. I felt a lot of trepidation about it, because normally I do not like to see animals in captivity, particularly if they are not treated well but here in Thailand there are places which conserve animals and places which profit from them. Unfortunately we chose a place of the later. We took a taxi to the Hua Hin safari park and arrived 5 minutes before the show was due to start. The children were all very excited, especially after seeing the parrot and monkey when we walked inside.  The price was extortionate – the equivalent of £80 british pounds (4,400 baht)! I don’t think we have ever spent as much on a morning out, and I hope we never again do). I would not have minded spending so much if the animals and staff were all cared for to a high level, but I regret I think this is not the case.

We rushed through to the show but before we went into the show, a man tried to force me to sit (WITHOUT TROUSERS!!! I was wearing a knee length dress) on the baby elephants back. He was very insistent and was trying to push me onto the elephant and I kept repeating no no no – I did not want to sit on the elephant with my little girl.  After a few minutes he eventually left me alone, but as I turned I saw that our 6 yo had been made to sit on the elephant, I choked back tears as I saw him being carried off crying himself on the elephants back. I felt helpless as I was holding one of our toddlers, DH was made to sit on one with a toddler and he said he was struggling to hold on himself with her – I was caught between trying to help him and help our son. I got our son off, and he said he was okay – and then I turn around and the keepers are forcefully trying to get tips! I was quite annoyed after how much it cost to come in, after all that is 2-3 days budget for a family of five.  My husband gave them 100 baht (£2) and then they tried to get him to give more money to the other elephant via its trunk, he said no. Now I realise that the reason they were so forceful is because they think it would get them more tips, like our dignity and choice is second place to profit – now I can empathise with the elephants.

 

I felt uncomfortable throughout the show – seeing these magnificent, majestic beings made to do all sorts of ridiculous stunts, it just demeaned them somehow.

The elephants rode bikes, burst balloons, painted pictures, played football, gave massages and danced and in between the crowd fed the elephants (100baht a bunch of bananas that usually costs a fifth of the price).  At the end the elephants came around to the front of the seating area with baskets in their mouth with the keepers asking for tips.  After spending 200baht on bananas we regret that we did not tip, I could see the frustration on the keepers face – and if we had been charged a fair price for entry and bananas, then I would very happily have tipped all the staff but we just don’t have that kind of financial freedom.

We then went on to the crocodile and cobra show, and watched the snake trainer as the spitting cobras hissed and spat venom at him – quite uncomfortable viewing. He would wipe the venom off his face in between tormenting the snakes – bearing in mind this would make him blind if it entered his eye. He also showed the crowd a copper head razor and some other large and quick snakes I do not know the name of. At the end one of the snakes bit his lips as he put it into his mouth, his lip bled during the last part of his act.  Again we were asked to give more tips.

 

Two men came out for the crocodile show – they somehow hypnotised the crocodiles to keep their mouths open as they inserted their hands and heads inside. After they had finished we were asked again to give more money, we again shamefully declined.  We asked the show speaker if they had ever been bitten and she said yes of course, these were wild animals. I knew she was telling the truth as I could see the scars on the man’s arm while he performed. One had even had their head trapped I think – they only way to get them to open their mouth again is to tempt them with “real” food.

 

Finally, we went on the elephant ride. I felt sad about this but it was basically next to free as included in the package and I have never tried it before.  I’ll be honest – I found it quite scary! We were quite high up and I was trying to ensure my children were safe.  The guides told us that they came from northern Thailand and had ridden elephants since childhood.  Near the end, my elephant guide turned to me with a box of jewellery, he seemed uncomfortable but tried to sell me some, I have no money, I don’t carry it and I told him so as he slowly put the box away. I looked ahead and saw that all the guides were trying to sell their passengers jewellery – it was part of the experience.  After 25 minutes we crawled off the elephants, I had found it quite uncomfortable and was glad to have my feet on solid ground, but at least the children were happy. We washed up and started our journey back to Cha Am.

 As we were leaving, the boy in our life who today would like to be refered to as Watermelon Scraper said that he would rather that they were trapped any other way than being chained by their feet – which is how they all stood whilst not being used. I would  have prefered just to see them wondering in a more natural environment, doing nothing anything than happily being elephants. That is after all what a safari should be?

I reflected in the car that all the tips and the jewellery selling must be a commission for the staff, and that made me feel sad. I cannot be sure, but I hope that they are all treated fairly. I do what I can in life but also have to consider the financial safety of my own family, and this trip was frivolous enough.

Four in a bed with no place for me…

It is getting late here and I cannot sleep. I do not like air conditioning both for environmental and comfort reasons but DH insists it is on at night.  I look to our bed, and the two double beds pushed together are full with one child sleeping sideways – no room for me. The cot is empty as it has been every night.  One night when we were in Dubai, the girl with curly hair slept in the cot there and woke in the night only to climb back into bed with me.  She edged around the bed and I woke automatically, may be I never will sleep deeply again – but I lifted her next to me and she snuggled beside me.  I watched as she brushed the hair out of her eyes and then her arm soft and warm swung onto my neck – and I thought to myself how could anyone want to miss out on these moments – these glimpses of  closeness in their purest forms?

I will take a little time to reflect on the day, and we have had some wonderful moments – but I also have had a great low, feeling completely lost.  I took some time to be mindful of my thoughts, my intent while lying with the girl with straight hair on a lounger hidden inside a tent covered four post frame – the side awnings flapped heavily in the breeze giving my mind a welcome distraction.  I asked the holy spirit to heal me in that moment and I found calm again.  But honestly, sometimes… this life completely overwhelms me and I feel like a caged animal pacing back and forth in my discomfort, fighting reality but not quite wanting to leave.

Healthcare in Thailand

Last night we had the unfortunate opportunity to experience Thai healthcare in Hua Hin.  We had come upon a wonderful  restaurant on the beach, and after having not eaten since breakfast we were keen to eat. The restaurant had tables lined up along the beach front, but they were all booked by the Bangkok regulars so we were given a table next to the aquariums.  The aquariums were huge, empty but for the murky water and a single large fish in each.  The fish loomed past us; eyeing us hopefully, knowing that they were the condemned but could see the spec of hope that might remain for their salvation.

DH was agitated with the waiter and was trying to roll out his order to a man who seemed more interested in the voice coming from his earpiece.  The girl with curly hair stood on her chair. On seeing this I asked DH to hold her because I felt worried about her safety. I turned my attention to the girl with straight hair who was on my knee, asking her if we could take her sister to the fishes. I heard a bang as the girl with curly hair fell from her chair onto the back of her head on the floor below. I ran round as she cried out, and picked her up. I lifted her into my arms and she lost consciousness. She came round, only to go sleepy and limp again a few seconds later. She woke up again and I went as quickly as I could to order a taxi.  DH came after paying for our drinks and we went to the local Bangkok hospital. I blame myself, because I know that my mother’s instinct is usually spot on, as soon as I don’t completely listen to myself… I just wish I had gone and picked her up to take her to the fish as soon as I saw her stand up ;-(

Because it was the King of Thailand’s birthday this week there is a 3-day weekend, so the usual busy weekends were even busier. The traffic to Hua Hin from where we were was almost at a stand still at points.  Luckily the girl with curly hair was wide awake by then, and describing the different food options she would like for dinner!

On arrival there, it is like something out of a dream. Everything is immaculate and bright, even the dress of the nurses and doctors.  We were seen within a few seconds of walking in – and soon the doctor came to us and reassured us that because she had not been sick, she would be okay.  She had an X-ray to make sure there was no fracture, and I was given an amazing heavy gown covered with birds and flowers to protect against the rays. The girl with curly hair was strong, and lay down on the bed, the bright light above her flashing over the blues of her eyes as she scowled slightly.  The X-ray was clear, so we were sent home with some painkiller incase she needed it and some advice slips.  The cost of the hospital treatment was less than the taxi there, and was quicker than even the whole experience of  waiting for and the GP appointment in the UK.   2 1/2 hours later, after the two taxi rides and the hospital experience we eventually had room service for dinner. Finally!

Thailand views and the night market

Last night we went to the night market in Hua Hin.  We were dropped off at the clock tower and made our way over the busy road waiting anxiously for gaps in the traffic.  We went into the night market just as it was starting, the local people were still hanging up clothes and arranging their ware as we took our first steps inside. Neon lights flashed in the background and as the sun set, the lights from the flashing toys and displayed fairy lights took over.

Watches for 100baht (around £2) were tempting, but we know from experience they might only last 2 days.  We meandered along the stalls of clothing, tea lights, t-shirts, soaps and nail bars, toys, jewelery – so much to see.  We found some food stalls and sat down for our lunch/dinner (if there is a word for breakfast/lunch why isn’t there one for lunch/dinner?).  For 120 baht (around £2.40) we bought 3 plates of noodles with veg.  Our son only wanted pancake with nutella, and later sweetcorn rosted on a grill.  A friendly Thai women call Tik came and sat with us at our table, and talked to us about her friend who was half English-half Australian who had moved to Australia last Christmas.

What surprised me, was that when we were at the food stall the girl serving came out for her break and sat down with a top of the range mobile phone and an iPad! I had always assumed that people working on the stalls, and elsewhere were not financially well off, but I think for the workers in tourist areas perhaps this is not the case.

Nothing can describe the excitement you feel when you walk through a market here.  The air is thick and hot, and there are people everywhere.  We walked past a stall strewn with toys and gadgets, but in the front she had a wok set up and was frying fishcakes and cabbage to sell for 30baht.

We walked past a man who as soon as he saw our children bent down to admire them, “what beautiful children.. aren’t they lovely… you want to buy a dress?”. No thank you. We walked past a few minutes later, and he sees Simon, “ahh she asleep, what a lovely child you have… so sweet.. you want to buy a suit?”. No thank you. Twenty minutes later, on the way back home, he sees me again and stops me in my tracks, “ooh look at children you have, aren’t they lovely.. so you want to buy a dress?”. He looks up at me, sees my face and realises he has tried that tactic already and slowly moves away his arms swinging.

Travels in Dubai

Going back in time to Dubai, I wanted to share some of our experiences.  Unfortunately we were there for three days oly and I am sure we missed out on lots of amazing sights and experiences.

As soon as we landed in Dubai, we each carried a toddler on our back using our mai tei and wrap. Walking through the airport, a man ran up to us trying to give us two Emirates pushchairs, how he thought we could possibly push our 6 year old in our pushchair, plus the hand luggage trolley, plus our mini child’s case, and then pick up three suitcases I will never understand!  DH was then told my a staff member that the girl with straight hair would be more comfortable in a pushchair – not sure how she would know better than our daughter but I had to remind myself I was tired, irritable, and her thoughts were her responsibility not mine.

In the three days in Dubai we hardly saw any women or children until we walked through the mall.  I guess they are much more sensible than us, as we walked outside in the heat along the streets. Manyof the women I saw were very glamorous. I realy wanted to be respectful of the culture there, and I tried as much as I could – but it conflicted too much with how I want to parent.  Perhaps it was all down to my perceptions, and my fears, and my own fear of judgement, but I felt very pressured to control the children in our lives.  I felt very much at odds with myself! I was really happy when I saw another local woman wearing her baby, even if it was one of those uncomfortable Tomy carriers 😉

Our best experience in Dubai was at the mall where the aquarium and underwater zoo are located.  The aquarium is in the Guinness Book of Records because it has been made with the single biggest piece of perspex!  You look up the aquarium to the top and what must be 100 metres high is a faux sky filled with twinkling stars.

The aquarium itself isn’t that big, once you get inside it is a short tunnel, and then you have to travel up to the third floor to the underwater zoo and this was the cleanest, most well-kept zoos that we have seen.   There were a plethora of things to see – otters, fish, piranhas, African dwarf crocodiles, penguins, shark babies, lizards and chameleons of different colours among much else.

The girl with curly hair seemed to love the otters the most – watching them dart around through the water!  When we were at the aquarium, the divers came down to the front of the glass where we were stood so that they could “talk” with the children 😉

“Once we make a concerted effort to get out – and stay out – of our children’s way do we discover the wonderful truth: the magic is already in our children, ready to unfold in its own way  and its own time” Naomi Aldort, getting out of the way.