Another Visit

The last week has been spent with family visiting from Australia.  We have been to Akaroa rocking on boats, Hanmer Springs wallowing in hot rock pools, and the Antarctica Centre watching penguins and riding in military style buggies! It has been a wonderful week and we were sad to see our our brother and sister and law, niece and nephew leave.

I have had gastroenteritis for 5 days so this afternoon am having a rest and cleaning the house while Sergeant is testing two new co-operative games at our friends house with the children.  

I am very fortunate to have made a few close friends in Christchurch who share similar conclusions in parenting and education, one of which was a nanny previously.  Whilst I have yet to find any research which states that mass childcare is beneficial to the development of a child in terms of social or emotional well-being, I have seen much evidence that if a child is bonded with alternative caregivers the experience can be positive so employment is restrained by the hours my friend can offer as a nanny and what flexibility the role offers.

While I love the theory of democratic schooling, if under-resourced both in terms of the input of fellow parents and in terms of support and actual resources, I prefer whole-life learning as a more holistic and nurturing education.  Subsequently I have been asked frequently if I would consider Sonic going to a “normal” school. I do not accept the social norm – children are natural learners and mainstream school does not work for millions of children, (certainly not my son) and learner centred education does; so I would rather support alternative means of education – let’s support a revolution!

 

 

Beach bums and amazing parks

Yesterday I had a wonderful uplifting day. We got the bus (easily) to  a park called Hagley Park. When we got off the bus, the bus driver got off before me and carried my pram and opened it for me, and said be careful when you cross the road when you come back.

The sun was baking hot, and so we were glad when we got to the playground that there were sprinklers with children running underneath and two free swimming pools to paddle in! It is still the school holidays and there was a free show for children in the park, so there were families everywhere. We met up with a lady and her 6-year-old twins.  Hopefully, we will meet soon in more comfortable circumstances as we seem to have a lot in common.  They own a farm and yoga studio, and I felt echo my aspirations for The Good Life dream!

I like not having a car, it encourages us to walk more. And honestly I feel that we need to be the change we want to see – and I believe environmentally, that means making sacrifices… BUT it is so challenging sometimes. And I really don’t want to be as isolated as I have been before.  We are considering saving up for or getting a small loan to buy a cheap car to use for emergencies and weekend camping trips.

Had a bloody awful day today.  Had nightmares for most of last night and woke up moody – not only because Movecorp have turned out to be very unprofessional and untruthful, after 8 weeks of thinking our shipment was on its way – turns out not left the UK.  Shame. I guess we cannot let the based things in life keep us down!

x x x

First Times

Yesterday was DHs first day at his new work, and a first day for me being with the children without support for 7 weeks – back to real life.

I got busy for when DH got home, buying a cake and making his favourite meal – he came home stuffed! They brought in something like 12 pizzas for lunch, so my food is unwanted.  His work seems to be a very nurturing environment, with group lunches every Monday and early finishes on Friday for beers!

I got the bus for the first time in Christchurch, and it was terrible actually. Not so much the being on the bus but the walking in the rain.  The bus drivers were kind, and one actually heroic.  He saw us waiting in the rain and lifted our double pushchair onto the bus when it wouldn’t fit.  He took us to the passenger lounge at the metro station, so we could wait for the bus in the warmth 😉

The thing is that the girl with the curly hair is I guess still unsettled, and wanting to exert herself in any way she can, and thus I am having trouble getting from one place to another without her getting upset about not being able to walk on the road, or be cuddled by mummy in arms (slings – now – will not do apparently). I would love to be able to snuggle her all the way, but I have a big pushchair – that doesn’t even fit on buses – and it certainly doesn’t steer and push itself either. Great.  On the way back we got turned off two buses. Then I realise we have a puncture.  Next time – I am taking the single pushchair and a sling.

The group we went to today is absolutely lovely. It is a whole life learners group – and the women are all warm, friendly and supportive. They meet once or twice a week, so I am lucky to have found such a great group of people so quickly.

The bitch box and other stories

The Outskirts of Christchurch

It is clear that the earthquakes have devastated areas of Christchurch and there are few people untouched by the events. However there is so much human spirit – and an eery beauty in the devastation.  These people have experienced so much loss, not only losing the surroundings that they know but some their loved ones too. I don’t know – I hope I won’t – ever know that sadness and loss.  We were driving through the outskirts and I saw this wall, and I thought it was so full of hope that I am sharing it here. It was a wall with the word repeated – before I die I want to….. and people wrote their response..

The Bitch Box and the Wildlife Park

We spent an afternoon at Willowbank Wildlife Park. We are able in the future to get the bus there, so ended up getting a year membership for a very reasonable price.  The park was set up in the 80s by a man whose childhood dream was to have an animal park. Over the years he and his wife have built it up to a good size.  All the animals are extremely well looked after and the setting is very homely and close to nature.

This is a bitch box – apparently they were used when a bitch went into season. She was placed into the box to prevent unwanted pregnancies. I can think of better forms of contraception…

Travels over the Mountain

We drove through Dyers Pass up the mountain and down to the bays on the others side. We stopped in Lyttleton for food. I went into a Himalayan clothing shop and the woman who ran it was so friendly, she seemed to know everyone that came in and chatted with me giving me the coffee she’d just bought for a perk up because she couldn’t stand it, uck she said. Good for me!  Then we went onto the beach.  Corsair bay is a delight.  Before you go down the slope to the beach there is this playground, see if you can spot the girl with the curly hair and straight hair?  The picture to the right is the bay which we swam in. I honestly, usually have panic attacks when swimming in natural water but I managed to swim out alone. It was so beautiful I quite forgot my usual fears and was just enjoying being there.  Ahead in the middle, you can see the former leper colony Quail Island.

Lyttleton harbour had me thinking of the song I learnt at school – little houses on the hillside. 

A Last Note…

We have been very fortunate so far to have had some playdates for Sonic Blue in the last few days and he has enjoyed meeting some new friends, although struggling a bit with it too.  We have a few appointments this week to see houses, so hopefully one of them will be suitable and gained. With love x x x

The Thai family and the mistaken crocodile

OLD POST written in Thailand but unpublished until today:

I have seen few children in Thailand, but when I have they’ve usually been with their mother. Eating on their mother’s knee, playing at their mother or father’s place of work – and I love this! Why it is so strong in our Western culture to separate from your child as soon as possible in order to maintain a role in the economy which is nothing but a false perception of value.  At a restaurant we went to there was a cot, bouncer, and toys at the back.  The mother sat with her baby as her mum and husband worked. It seemed such a different attitude to the enforced isolation I have felt; it is no wonder that this wonderful joy of parenting just doesn’t translate as it should or could – I feel we are almost punished in Western society for having children because the role is not valued.

Today one of the staff at Kids’ World said to me that Thai children sleep from 2-4pm and then eat at 4pm and go to bed at 8pm – I am guessing this is a generalisation! She is kind of sweet, so I only jest – but it did make me wonder when people say children should be sleeping at this time, I wonder how do they do it? Is there an off switch I don’t know about?

I think about Gina Ford and her sleep training methods, and I know that if she met the Girl with the curly hair it would result in her having a nervous breakdown.

This is the girl who knows her mind and however infuriating it can sometimes be, I love and accept her for who she is.  This is a girl who has no fear, who waits out her opportunity and runs for it in order to ride down the 20foot tall water slide, head first, alone… This is a girl who when she seems tired and I try to settle her, fights it tooth and nail – often I would be walking, rocking, nursing, soothing for two hours at a time, fighting the reality that she won’t sleep. She just loves the world, and doesn’t want to miss anything.

I asked someone who has been living in Bangkok for 3 years about the differences in general between UK and Thai parenting.  They said that Thai people are generally very family orientated, and there is a real sense of the whole family helping to raise the children. It is quite acceptable for people depending on their work to take their children with them.  People are more positive towards children and friendly.  Nurseries are not as commonly used in Thailand either.  Children are treated a bit like glass – if you rough and tumble with your children you might get looks of horror! Thai families seem to want to keep their children babies much longer than we would in the west on a whole. It’s not unusual for children to sleep in the same room as the parents until they’re about 10 years old. That said, I’ve noticed that high school children are much nicer and younger emotionally than in the West. 

I also met an NZ family who basically said that frequently expats’ children are looked after by nannies – and in her own words said that the other NZ family on holiday were letting NZ down as they had two children – two nannies – on holiday with them!  She said that while she had to work, as soon as she was home that was family time.  It was interesting how many families we saw whose children were looked after by nannies.  I personally would if I could afford it, have a nanny to support me so I could spend more quality time with the children, rather than as a replacement for me.

Tonight we saw  huge locust – it must have been about 10cm long.  The girl with straight hair went to pick it up, I can only guess she thought it was a toy. On realising it was alive and jumping, her eyes widened and she began to cry as she nestled into my shoulder. She calmed after a reassuring cuddle and we went searching for geckos.

We also saw what we thought was a crocodile slinking through the water, only to be told it is a kind of water monitor lizard: